What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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