i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
