Sacagawea was the original milf.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
