Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
