Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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