But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
