Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
