If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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