yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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