Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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