nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
