how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
