Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
