That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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