yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
