I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
