I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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