no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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