Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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