can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
