got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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