You're my little dorito
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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