JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
