i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
