Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize