the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
