Where did you get a picture of my penis
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
