at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize