that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
