There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize