I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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