i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
