so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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