Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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