I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Randomize
