i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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