I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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