Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
