Swine flu. Run for my life!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
