GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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