wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
