He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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