I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
