yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
