Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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