He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
