Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
