Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
