mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
