genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
