I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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