Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
