the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
