absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
