apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
