I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
