so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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