I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
handjob tips. give me some.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize